The 55 Absolute Worst Things That Can Happen If You’re Socially Awkward

This is your nightmare.

1. Someone asks, “So, what do you do?”
2. You’re on an airplane and the person sitting next to you starts talking.
3. Someone asks if you’ve “read any good books lately.”
4. You’re at a “networking event.”
5. You have to do a group project.
6. Everyone is singing “Happy Birthday” to you, the full song.
7. A salesperson asks if you need help.
8. A different salesperson asks if you need help.
9. You have to ask for something from behind the counter.
10. You go to a store that doesn’t have a self-checkout.
11. There’s a self-checkout but it’s full of idiots who don’t know how to use it.
12. The store clerk asks for your email or your zip code.
13. You have to tell the store clerk that you don’t need a plastic bag.

14. You’re in a public bathroom stall and someone enters the stall right next to yours.
15. Someone speaks to you in a public bathroom.
16. Someone makes eye contact with you in a public bathroom.
17. You’re alone on an elevator and someone else gets on.
18. You accidentally touch hands with a stranger.
19. Someone asks what you did last weekend.
20. You have to squeeze past someone in an aisle or a movie theater.
21. That thing where you’re not sure if you’re supposed to hug or not.
22. A stranger on the sidewalk walks at the EXACT same pace as you.
23. A stranger says, “May I join you?”

24. That thing where you’re about to walk into someone and you each try to move out of the way but are still in each other’s way.
25. You have to call customer service.
26. You have to call to make an appointment.
27. You have to call anyone.
28. Someone calls you.
29. They leave a voicemail.
30. You have to call them back.
31. Your friend invites someone you don’t know.
32. You have to go on a date.
33. You have to order food.
34. You order food and have to field an unexpected question.
35. You hear other people having a conversation.
36. You get home at the exact same time as your neighbor.
37. Your neighbor says hi.
38. You have to open the door and make eye contact with the delivery guy.

39. You think you’re alone and then you see a person.
40. Someone says “excuse me” like that makes them the boss of you.
41. Your roommate comes home.
42. Someone says, “What?”
43. Any talking involved with getting a haircut.
44. Someone says your name and they want something.
45. You’re out and you see someone you know.
46. You have to listen politely while someone talks.
47. You’re at a party.
48. You’re at a bar.
49. Someone says, “Good morning.”
50. Someone says, “Happy Friday.”
51. Somebody starts a conversation with you.
52. Somebody stands hear you.
53. Somebody looks at you.
54. You hear people laughing.
55. You see another person.

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