You’re probably so sick of everyone calling you things like “boring” and “predictable” just because you happen to like vanilla. Unfortunately, those people are right because that is a super boring flavor. What are you so afraid of? Getting hurt? By other flavors? But it’s OK. You just appreciate the simple pleasures in life like crossing the street RIGHT before the walk sign appears or eating a bowl of soup while staring at a wall.
2. Vanilla Bean
Everywhere you go, you’re constantly greeted by “Sir” or “Madame” or “Your Excellency.” Everyone is intimidated by how sophisticated and classy you are. And everyone is always coming to you for your extensive knowledge of food and wine. You drink 100-year-old scotch on your yacht off the coast of Ibiza as you laugh a hearty chuckle at the sunset. You are probably, no, definitely wearing a top hat right now because you are literally the fanciest person in the world.
The world can be divided into two kinds of people: People who like strawberry ice cream, and people who think strawberry ice cream is garbage food that no one in their right mind would choose to ingest unless threatened with bodily harm.
So, you like it, eh? Well, you’re one bold individual. You don’t care what anyone thinks. You strut down the street with a mild, measured confidence that says, “I’ve made peace with my life choices.”
You’re smart, good looking, and generally loved and envied by everyone you meet. You’re blessed with a raw talent most people can only dream about. You’re destined to be successful in your career and if we’re being honest, other people wish they could be you. You probably didn’t notice, but one time Ryan Gosling saw you walk by and said, “Wow! Who was THAT?” Because he was very impressed by you, just generally.
6. Mint Chip
You probably get excited about Shark Week. You love jokin’ around and quoting movies. But you have a low tolerance for other people’s nonsense. You are not afraid to complain about the injustices of the world over Gchat.
Whoa, you’ve got the kind of effortless, laid-back cool vibe usually only attained by surfers and skateboarders. There’s a chance you throw the terms “bro” or “dude” around unironically. You pet other people’s dogs with reckless abandon.
8. Cookies & Cream
There’s a good chance you’re at least kind of nerdy, but in an extremely endearing way. You’re the smartest person in your friend group. You love reading. You probably own a bunch of books. You probably even have a whole book shelf. Maybe multiple shelves. Look at you with your books. You think you’re better than everyone else just because you’re so intellectual with your reading and your books?
9. Butter Pecan/Pralines & Cream
These two flavors are slightly different but they both say the same thing: You love pecans and the old-timey flavors of days gone by. You prefer talking on the phone to texting. You’re not super into electricity. You wish cyclists would be more careful on the road and follow traffic laws. There’s nothing you love more than spending a night in watching 48 Hours.
10. Green Tea
You seem calm and reserved on the outside, but your inside is full of thunder. Not many people realize you have the personal strength of a tiger and a Vitamix blender combined. Can you imagine how terrifying that would be? Of course you can, because your soul is that blender tiger.
11. Rocky Road
You’re a little bit aggressive. If you were faced with a literal rocky road, you would probably drive right over it without fear. Though, you would still take the safety of yourself, your passengers, and your vehicle into consideration. You don’t take stupid risks just because you like nuts and marshmallows in your ice cream.
12. Cookie Dough
You’re either a child or a child at heart. In a world full of cynicism and snark, you still manage to get excited about things. It’s a rare and charming quality, but please stop screaming.
13. Chocolate Chip/Vanilla With Chocolate Bits In It
You’re never satisfied. You’re just like Britney Spears in her monologue intro to her cover of The Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” on her Oops…I Did It Again album. You are picky but at least you know what you want. (Small pieces of chocolate.)
14. Dulce De Leche
You look really good in sunglasses and are one of the few people who can pull off wearing a hat without looking like some weirdo in a hat.
15. Peanut Butter
You get rowdy. You’re kind of a handful. When you get to the party people are both excited and a little scared. You’re not afraid to go after what you want. You have a signature dance move.
16. Chocolate Peanut Butter
You’re really good at giving hugs. People probably want to compliment you on your hug style but then they would feel like maybe that’s weird and inappropriate. So they often say nothing, but they loved that hug. It was the best hug they’d ever gotten.