1. A tornado of polar bears.
2. A fountain drink you can buy at a gas station.
Gotta stop and get a Polar Vortex for the road.
3. Some sort of supernatural ice prison.
Dude, that one wizard was locked in the polar vortex for 800 years.
4. Where you get sucked into watching The Polar Express on a loop.
A real problem for probably no one.
5. An alternate name for brain freeze.
Oh crap. You got that polar vortex.
6. A dessert at Applebee’s.
Have you tried the Polar Vortex? It comes with a fudge explosion and a side of jalapeño poppers.
7. An edgy new brand of vodka.
Polar Vortex martini, please.
8. A self-serve froyo chain.
Let’s stop and take a Polar Vortex break!!!!!! With sprinkles!!!!
9. A mildly exciting board game.
This will kill a few secoonds.
10. A roller coaster at Six Flags.
The line for the Polar Vortex is like three hours long.
11. A cool rebranding of the North Pole.
The elves are ballin’ out of control in Santa’s POLAR VORTEX.
12. A flavor of shave ice.
The polar vortex just tastes like blue raspberry. :(
13. The name of a super boozy Arctic cruise line.
Come aboard the Polar Vortex and get sucked into a veritable vortex of booze.
14. A magic portal to Antarctica.
Step back! Don’t get sucked into the polar vortex!