1. Pretend that zucchini ribbons are pasta WITHOUT crying.
It's like, even if you know someone swapped your baby for a different but similar-looking baby, it's not like you're gonna love the impostor baby any less right?
2. Make sure you UNDERSTAND that cauliflower is the new kale.
You still have to eat kale though. Never stop eating kale.
3. Get all up on some chia seeds.
4. Learn how to pronounce "quinoa" with a subtle air of superiority.
5. An acceptable fun and healthy salad topping is NOT your own tears.
6. Figure out what kaniwa is because I sure as hell don't know.
7. Pretend mashed up cauliflower is "mashed potatoes" WITHOUT making a super sad puppy face.
That goes double for saying "paleo mashed potatoes" without throwing up inside (or outside) your mouth.
8. Incorporate coconut oil into every aspect of your life until you can't tell where you end and the coconut oil begins.
9. Don't forget that you can remove delicious things from your life and replace them with Greek yogurt.
10. Make sure people have VISUAL CONFIRMATION that you are drinking green juice.
11. Don't forget to treat yourself to dessert.* (*Bananas)
