2. Some people are just really good at spilling food on themselves.
4. When it comes to eating, you are Fat Joe and/or Lil Wayne and the food is this money.
Make it rain.
9. Why are these the ONLY times when a bib is socially acceptable?
It’s not fair.
10. This SEEMS like a lifesaver, but it’s no match for your high caliber, expert level of spillage.
Like comin’ at the BP spill with an Oral B.
13. These are all potential nicknames you could have:
Spilly Von Clothes-Ruiner
The Human Napkin
Micky “Saving It For Later” Johnson
Old Soup Pants
14. The odds of spilling when wearing new clothes go up to 100%.
It’s just simple math.