1. If you want to shop at a Manhattan Trader Joe's, you have to really, really want it.
2. It is the ultimate test of mind, body, and soul.
3. As soon as you walk in the store you will be reminded that this is not a game.
4. The line is so long they need a line sherpa to guide you to the end of the line as it weaves through the store like a winding maze.
5. The line is so long someone has to hold a "Middle of Line" sign while constantly screaming "This is not the end of the line!"
6. You know you're gonna get run down by a bunch of these suckers.
7. Cart jams as far as the eye can see.
8. The phenomenon known as salad block.
9. You want to walk down an aisle? LOL have fun.
10. You want a free sample? You'll have to get into a physical fight with these people first.
11. You want to get yourself some meat? First, you must go through these people. And they're tougher than they look.
12. If you want to grab anything off any shelf, you must first disrespect the honor of the human line labyrinth.
13. As you shop, dread creeps into your heart as you know you too will soon be a sad basket kicker.
14. You slowly realize you can't fight the line anymore, you must become one with the everlasting line.
15. You cannot fight your destinyyyyyy as you seek the counsel of the line sherpa.
16. "Join us" they all whisper.
17. Now it's your turn to block other shoppers from shopping as you settle into line... forever.
18. As you stagger out of the store, you wonder if buying almond butter was worth all that. But you don't even know who you are anymore.
