2. You showed not-quite-pants era Christina Aguilera your rock locking skills and she wasn’t impressed.
3. You showed this red Solo cup your rock locking skills and it was very impressed.
4. You then went on to skyrocket that red Solo cup’s career by featuring it in Sugar Ray’s “When It’s Over” video.
5. You’re in a band with a guy whose “thing” is always wearing a bucket hat.
6. Your tips are perfectly frosted, pointing straight toward heaven.
9. You defy anyone who says an argyle sweater vest can’t rock so hard.
10. Your attitude can be described as nothing less than “in your face.”
11. Your facial hair defies explanation.
12. Your default facial expresion is:
13. You know there’s no reason business casual can’t mix with rockin’ out.
14. Kid Rock tells you all his silly little secrets. Tee hee hee.
15. You constantly blow everyone’s minds.
16. Hanging out with Eminem makes you stop and ponder life itself.
18. You know for a fact that wearing a sweater vest with nothing under it is hands down the best way to show off your tattoos of birds.
19. Gwen Stefani is willing to politely pose for a photo with you.
(Regular, tongue-out-thumbs-up, and of course rock lock)
21. You know to exercise caution while rock locking and trucker hatting at the same time.
23. You briefly went through a non-pointy hair phase that reflected your deep sense of inner turmoil about what you’d become.
24. You just keep doing you.
- The death penalty should still be considered for Colorado theater shooter James Holmes, a jury decided.
- President Obama unveiled a climate change plan on Monday that calls for federal limits on the amount of carbon power plants can produce.
- California Gov. Jerry Brown called for a state of emergency as wildfires burned thousands of acres by Sunday and forced hundreds of evacuations.