2. You showed not-quite-pants era Christina Aguilera your rock locking skills and she wasn’t impressed.
3. You showed this red Solo cup your rock locking skills and it was very impressed.
4. You then went on to skyrocket that red Solo cup’s career by featuring it in Sugar Ray’s “When It’s Over” video.
5. You’re in a band with a guy whose “thing” is always wearing a bucket hat.
6. Your tips are perfectly frosted, pointing straight toward heaven.
9. You defy anyone who says an argyle sweater vest can’t rock so hard.
10. Your attitude can be described as nothing less than “in your face.”
11. Your facial hair defies explanation.
12. Your default facial expresion is:
13. You know there’s no reason business casual can’t mix with rockin’ out.
14. Kid Rock tells you all his silly little secrets. Tee hee hee.
15. You constantly blow everyone’s minds.
16. Hanging out with Eminem makes you stop and ponder life itself.
18. You know for a fact that wearing a sweater vest with nothing under it is hands down the best way to show off your tattoos of birds.
19. Gwen Stefani is willing to politely pose for a photo with you.
(Regular, tongue-out-thumbs-up, and of course rock lock)