Coconut water tastes like:
1. Sour water
2. Messed up water
3. Fermented water
4. Expired milk
5. Expired water
6. A coconut but something's wrong with it?
7. Water but something's wrong with it?
8. Donkey urine
9. Dog urine
10. Cat urine
11. Human urine
12. Maybe a horse's urine mixed with a zebra's urine?
13. Like someone peed in a coconut
14. Like someone cried into a coconut and then you found that congealed liquid 10 years later
15. Like someone whispered a curse into a coconut and it became a drink
16. The pools of water that gather on a dead animal after a gentle rain
17. The fluid inside a glowstick
18. Like someone squeezed water out of a ferret
19. Like someone sprayed a hose on Shia LaBeouf and then squeezed the water out of his ponytail
20. Like someone filtered water through Benjamin Franklin's grave
21. Like a random man sneezed into a coconut and then you had to drink it
22. Cheese-flavored water
23. Like water filtered through the seats of a taxi cab on a hot day
24. Like a big, burly man chopped down a tree, sensually removed his tank top, rang out the sweat, and then served it to you as a beverage
25. The liquid that forms on top of yogurt
26. The floor of a gym
27. A tangy mistake
28. The water in a swimming pool full of sweaty children
29. A melted goat
30. The spit inside a French horn
31. The spit inside a trombone
32. The spit inside a clarinet
33. A violin that someone spit on
34. Water that you can't totally see through
35. Maybe the coconut's own pee???