How You Coped With Losing Your iPhone

The confusion. The initial pangs of horror. The dread. This is the story of that fateful night.

1. BRB, let me Instagram that. … Hang on, where’s my phone?

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2. I thought it was…wait.

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4. And so the harsh awareness washes over you: Your favorite toy is gone.

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5. First reaction: retrace each blurry step.

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6. Everyone just got a lot louder, more annoying, and in the way, and no one seems to care that your child is missing.

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7. You try to laugh it off with your friends and stay hopeful.

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8. Even though your friends are thinking this:

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9. Dejected, you go home feeling like a doof.

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10. You try to rest your weary little head but it ain’t really happening.

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11. And for a moment you wonder whether cosmic justice is real, and where you might’ve transgressed.

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12. You call the bar the next day. No dice.

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13. It’s OK, it’s OK — let’s just fire up the Find My iPhone app.

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14. Negotiating with the terrorist starts with a gentle approach…

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15. You might opt for humor.

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16. But all is silent at the other end of the string.

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17. Sometimes you wonder whether your first stupid message blew the whole rescue mission.

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18. And you’re sitting there watching the kidnapper toting your pride and joy around the city, and you can almost taste what it’d be like to have it back.

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19. Time slides away and in your corner, things are a little bit crazed.

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20. Aggression slips out as the hours pass.

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21. Then comes the 11th hour. You’re phone is near death. Time to accept it and erase everything forever.

Angela, you are wise in your ways.

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22. OK bye!

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23. You will now have to go to the AT&T store.

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24. What’s this? Eligible for an upgrade, you say?

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25. And you suddenly remember what life was like two years ago, when you first got your phone.

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27. Now all that’s left to do is meet Siri.

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