The tricycle lawnmower. A nice way to punish your children with the allure of freedom.
The “Linear Putter Device of a Golf Club” AKA the Chin Putter. Now with textured handle, apparently!
The “Hands Free Towel Carrying” device - or the no worries bib with built in letter envelope?
The “Paddle Wheel Rotocraft.” Not sure if airplane, boat, or helicopter. Actually read this patent and I’m still not sure, but glad to know a computer is somehow involved.
The “Jet Powered Surfboard.” Operational issues aside, why hasn’t Red Bull set a record on this yet?
This is a golf ball retriever and club. Also known as the thing nightmares are made of.
The “Neck Wrap Brace Organizer.” For when your fanny pack is just too full. Actually, I think I saw someone in Walmart wearing this?
This is a “Parrot Potty Training Device” - AKA a bag wrapped around your parrot.
This doesn’t look like much but it’s called the “Intestinal Gas Collector,” otherwise known as The Fart Bag.
This is a stick. A synthetic stick.
Are you pregnant? Are you feeling a little less than tan? Then you need the Maternity Beach Chair! Available at K-Mart, probably.