24 Headlines You Won’t Believe Are Real

Not every news story can be a masterpiece of journalism. But some stories beg the question: how is this news, exactly? For more unbelievable news headlines, check out Jimmy Kimmel Live! this week on ABC at midnight/11c as they broadcast live from Brooklyn, NY!

1.

Pan down, please. We need to corroborate this story.

2.

As if there was any other way to be killed.

3.

I mean, if they did, I’d be pretty concerned.

4.

HOW WILL HE EVER GET COLD AGAIN?

5.

That headline typist just got some really bad news.

6.

You better keep waiting.

7.

The funny thing is that I’m pretty sure no one under the age of 25 was watching this important piece of investigative journalism aimed at Millennials. Oh and also that this is completely ridiculous.

8.

OK so you could rationalize this one as “HEADLINE / LOCATION,” but it’s funnier to just read it as is. SANDWICH LAST SEEN WEARING ZIP-LOCK BAG.

10.

They must have skipped probability.

11.

Did she die of laughing when he told her what he did for a living?

12.

It’s only a matter of time before SkyNet discovers the cappuccino.

13.

The man claimed he only wanting to play “Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2” and look at porn.

14.

We’ve got some theories.

15.

The people must know about this culturally relevant occurrence. Thanks, Fox News!

16.

For more on the middle line, we’ll be back after these messages.

18.

Fox News asks all the hard-hitting questions.

19.

Can you imagine how cute a jury of his peers would be??

20.

Who could’ve guessed.

21.

This is why the BuzzFeed Police Department was a complete failure.

22.

Oh good, I need help doing common sense math.

23.

There is nothing more important than celebrity doppelgängers on Capitol Hill. How else can we remember who they are?

24.

We’ll do our best, TV news.

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