1. While putting away their laundry, subtly safety-pin all their clothes together in the drawer and WAIT FOR THE FIREWORKS.
César Rincón / CC BY http://2.0 / flic.kr
2. Glue a quarter to the driveway and wait for them to come home from school and try to pick it up. HILARITY ENSUES.
Oksana Struk / iStockphoto / Getty Images
3. When they’re at school, move everything around in their room and don’t tell them. Do this for like a week straight.
amy gizienski / CC BY http://2.0 / flic.kr
4. Speak Spanish around them for a whole day with absolutely no context and don’t tell them why. Throw in some yelling.
Leonid Mamchenkov / CC BY http://2.0 / flic.kr
5. Convince them they are a ghost and nobody else can see them. Don’t let them go outside because they might stop existing if they leave the house.
Quirky images of people and places / Getty Images
6. Swap their pants out with bigger pants that look exactly the same and when they notice tell them they’re shrinking because they didn’t eat their damn veggies.
Altrendo images / Getty Images
7. Put blue food coloring in the milk carton and when they look surprised tell them it’s cursed milk now and ask if they believe in witches. BREAKFAST IS SERVED. IT’S A BOWL FULL OF LAUGHS AND CONFUSION.
Sarah Sammis / CC BY http://2.0 / flic.kr
8. Replace their bathroom mirror with a LCD monitor that plays a loop of what the bathroom looks like so they’ll think they don’t have a reflection. Wait until they contemplate that nonsense and then run in and yell VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE over and o
Jesus Rodriguez / CC BY http://2.0 / flic.kr
9. Put all their cereal in the wrong boxes so when they go for Frosted Flakes they get Oat Brain. OWNED. MOM ONE. KID ZERO.
Ian Sanderson / Getty Images
10. Play hide and seek with them but instead of hiding just leave the house and don’t come back for three hours. Mom can make sure they don’t do dumb kid stuff while you’re gone. Go get a beverage. Go ahead. You deserve it, champ.
Gideo Tsang / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / flic.kr
11. Put a walkie talkie in their stuffed animal and wait until no one is around. Pretend the stuffed animal can talk and can see everything they do. See what they’ll admit to doing while you’re not around.
VirtualWolf / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / flic.kr