1. Ryan Gosling
The hottest man of 2012 was TOTALLY ABSENT from the last meeting. Not even mentioned. Doesn’t Dempsey know he’s so 2005? Hasn’t that hospital in Grey’s Anatomy blown up like a dozen times already? Gosling for president.
2. Christian Bale
Because no one says no to Batman. Seriously, he’ll yell at you for like six hours.
3. P. Diddy / Puff Daddy / Sean Combs / Whatever
He can bring the style. He can bring the entertainment. He can bring the FREE VODKA.
4. Daniel Craig
Bond 6.0 has worn enough designer suits and destroyed enough private property while wearing them. I mean, did you SEE that scene from Casino Royale where Bond emerges from the water for some reason and the sun is hitting him at the perfect angle and angels weep at the sight of his abdomen? Why isn’t he in this club yet?
5. Joseph Gordon Levitt
He’s old enough now, right? We think he’s old enough now. He wears suits. He has the words “Executive Producer” attached to him, sometimes. He has engaged in fisticuffs with Bruce Willis. That’s grown-up stuff right there.
6. Just pick a male Avenger. Any male Avenger.
DOWNEY. HEMSWORTH. EVANS. RENNER. JACKSON. THE LIST IS AS ENDLESS AS THE THREATS TO EARTH.
7. Michael Fassbender
We’ve pretty much seen all of his qualifications.
8. Matthew Bomer
You may not know this stud McMuffin, because you’ve probably never watched a single episode of White Collar. That’s OK. Just look at that face.
9. Jon Hamm
Jon Hamm’s got that handsome face that can charm any lady, and spew advertising nonsense all day and night and the following day. That face could convince anybody to buy what it’s selling. It’s no wonder he went from a greasy coat peddler to a whiskey guzzling executive.
10. Jamie Foxx
He sings. He dances. He does stand-up. He’s finally the main character of a Tarantino movie. He’s Ray Charles. Tom Cruise has held a gun to his head. THIS GUY DOES EVERYTHING.
11. Justin Bieber
JUST KIDDING. Call us in twenty years, Kidz Bop.