Why Plinko Is The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Humanity

Thank you, The Price is Right, for this most holy and precious of gifts.

1. In the history of life on the universe’s good green earth, humankind has devised a myriad of games for amusement.

2. But for all the cosmic spiderweb of time, there has only been one game that God bestowed to humanity as a pristine package of perfect amusement.

3. That game is Plinko.

4. While many less divine games have been excommunicated from the Price is Right canon…

5. Games that *aren’t* constituted of heavenly ambrosia…

6. The gods have blessed us with the flawless presence of Plinko since 1983.

7. And there’s a reason: Plinko is a beautiful and poignant metaphor for life.

8. Before you get to play in the big leagues of your human existence, you have to pay your dues.

9. And often, you just can’t predict that a basketball-shaped slow cooker is only worth $12.

10. But sometimes the blessings are just hiding right below the surface.

11. You never really know how your life will turn out. None of us do. You just have to step up to the big board.

12. And just as you can’t predict where your Plinko chip will land, sometimes life is mercurial and tempestuous.

13. When faced with a challenge, though, you have to just make the leap and drop your chips.

14. Of course, some of your chips will win big.

15. And some will totally crap out.

16. But no matter what, you can tell your real friends by who will rejoice with you when you’re happy.

17. And console you after all your chips go in the $0 slot.

18. In the end, life is a punishing chess game stymied by the brutality of fortune.

19. But even so, you always start with one precious chip.

20. Your only job, whether you win the NEW CAR!!!!! or not, is to enjoy the ride.

Enjoy the ride.

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