1.
Kill yourself with pizza rolls.
3.
Get your baby pregnant.
4.
Back-to-the-Future your cake.
7.
Remember important life milestones.
9.
Figure out why people are still just really into Friends.
10.
Understand the real mechanics of a cat.
11.
Know the answer to this.
12.
Reverse-Ariel yourself.
13.
Exorcise your headphones.
15.
Fail your drug test this way.
16.
Know why there are school.
17.
Turn your laptop into a mirror.
18.
Figure out what this song is.
19.
Know when to buy tampons for your brother.
20.
Understand your supersperm.
21.
Get pregnant from a video.
23.
And make Americans be quiet.