1. Kill yourself with pizza rolls.
2. Melt a penis.
3. Get your baby pregnant.
4. Back-to-the-Future your cake.
5. Remove your eyeballs.
6. Understand Canada.
7. Remember important life milestones.
8. Cure your Game Boy.
9. Figure out why people are still just really into Friends.
10. Understand the real mechanics of a cat.
11. Know the answer to this.
12. Reverse-Ariel yourself.
13. Exorcise your headphones.
14. Commit shower-cide.
15. Fail your drug test this way.
16. Know why there are school.
17. Turn your laptop into a mirror.
18. Figure out what this song is.
19. Know when to buy tampons for your brother.
20. Understand your supersperm.
21. Get pregnant from a video.
22. Recover from this.
23. And make Americans be quiet.
