The 17 Most Stressful Things About Owning An iPhone

In case you’ve run out of things to complain about.

1. When someone else uses the sound of your morning alarm for their ringtone.

Note to everyone: Marimba is OFF LIMITS.

2. The iMessage dots, making flirting an exercise in paralyzing anxiety since 2011.

3. That sinking feeling when you realize you’re going to have to go to the Genius Bar.

4. The constant, crippling worry that you’re going to drop it and see THIS when you pick it up:


5. People who have read receipts enabled.

This is beneficial to NO ONE. If I send you a text and you have read receipts enabled, I know you’re ignoring me. If you have them enabled, then everyone can see that you’ve read their messages and you’re being a lazy SOB.

6. When your battery mysteriously decides to go from 20% to 0 and shut off, all in five seconds.

7. Constantly updating all your apps.

8. When iMessage is inevitably down and messages get stuck like this.

9. When you plug your phone into someone else’s computer and it tries to pull up iPhoto and display all your photos.

OMG. *panic spiral*

10. There’s no way to opt out of a group text.

11. Choosing between either having your entire text message pop up on your screen (uhhh, privacy?) or having to go through an extra step to read anything.


12. How the weather app is always inaccurate.

Step 1: Don’t bring an umbrella because the app says it’s not going to rain.

13. That panicked moment when your phone restarts after downloading a new iOS, and you’re worried it wiped out EVERYTHING.

14. Feeling guilty seeing your voicemail notifications, because you know you’re never going to check them.

15. When a new phone comes out and you’re still 18 months away from an upgrade.

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