How The Time Warner Cable/CBS Feud Is Basically Ross and Rachel

Sometimes, TV will NOT be there for you when the rain starts to fall.

1. In the beginning, Time Warner Cable and CBS got along swimmingly.

For years, Time Warner paid CBS an agreed-upon carriage fee in order to carry CBS programming. The cable companies typically pass this fee on to their subscribers.

2. Then in June, CBS decided that it wanted Time Warner to pay it more money per subscriber.

(The last deal was inked five years ago; CBS currently receives less than $1 from each Time Warner Cable subscriber. It would like to increase to $2 or more for customers in New York, Los Angeles, and Dallas.)

3. Wait, so all this fighting is over a DOLLAR?

Yes.

4. Because TWC and CBS couldn’t reach a deal, CBS-owned channels in New York, Los Angeles, and Dallas have gone dark on cable systems around the country.

(This includes The CW, Showtime, and The Movie Channel.)

5. Yes, if you’re a TWC subscriber in one of these three metropolitan areas, this means no Under the Dome.

Many people already had to miss Dexter on Sunday night. Quelle horreur!

6. As a result, CBS could be losing up to $400,000 per day.

Monday marks the third day of the CBS blackouts.

7. TWC is likely losing money as well, as peeved customers cut the cable cord altogether, or switch to a DirecTV dish.

8. Everyone agrees that CBS and TWC will probably kiss and make up soon.

9. Especially because the NFL seasons begins in September, and if TWC makes subscribers lose access to football, there will be major hell to pay.

10. But what to do in the meantime? TWC has suggested customers buy antennas and watch CBS the old-school way.

(No one is actually doing this.)

11. Then, TWC just announced on Monday that they might be willing to offer CBS à la carte to its customers who REALLY want it.

12. Hopefully, either Time Warner Cable or CBS will capitulate, and realize that they both need each other to make money and pacify customers…

13. …and they’ll only ever speak of this again during drunken arguments.

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