Sure, those bright red maraschino cherries might look pretty in your cocktail, but that's where the fun stops.
And the HORROR BEGINS.
This is a bowl of real, authentic, bona fide cherries that might be harvested in Oregon or Washington.
At the processing center, the cherries are bleached in a solution of calcium chloride and sulfur dioxide until they turn yellow. Next, they're marinated in huge vats of high fructose corn syrup and Red #4.
Next, they show up in your old-fashioned, polluting the pure, innocent sweetness of bourbon.