1. Lingering inside for 30 seconds when you hear one of your neighbors in the hallway so you don’t have to talk to them.
4. The internet isn’t just your hobby; it’s your lifestyle choice.
5. Your library of excuses to get out of going to work happy hour rivals the one at Alexandria.
7. When your roommate has a guest over and you need to get something from the kitchen:
8. Making up other plans so that people think you have weekend plans and then spending the entire time by yourself.
11. Letting every single call go to voicemail and then never checking your voicemail.
12. That going to the movies by yourself is actually the best thing ever.
16. When you’re talking to your friend and their friend, and they leave and you have to make small talk with their friend:
17. That being able to order pizza online — no stupid phone call!! — changed your life.
18. Not knowing what to do when people are singing “Happy Birthday” to you.
WHERE DO I LOOK WITH MY EYES?!?
19. Checking your email and seeing three different birthday party invites:
21. That going to a wedding by yourself is the worst thing in the world.
22. When you’re at a bar reading by yourself, and someone tries to hit on you:
23. Why going to the beach by yourself is your idea of heaven.
24. Earnestly thinking HBO Go and Netflix are the only friends you need.
25. Hating gym classes or personal trainers, because your workout time is YOUR time.
26. Making up REALLY good excuses for not texting back right away when someone invites you to do something.
“Ahh sorry, I just saw this now!”