1. Because he was the cutest athlete of all time.
He played soccer at the College of William & Mary, from which he graduated in 1984.
2. And he even made this haircut look semi-decent.
3. He's a self-made comedian.
After college, Stewart worked as a contingency planner for the New Jersey Department of Human Services, a contract administrator for the City University of New York, a puppeteer for children with disabilities, a soccer coach at Gloucester High School in Virginia, a caterer, a busboy, a shelf stocker at Woolworth's, and a bartender as he honed his comedy act at places like the Comedy Cellar.
4. He's the first person we turn to for trenchant coverage of even the worst news.
5. In 2009, Americans voted him their most trusted newsman.
6. Even the White House has acknowledged his ability to bring awareness to important political matters.
7. Because you would look like a total idiot wearing this hoodie and not like a suave GQMF.
8. He once debated Bill O'Reilly and won by a mile.
9. Because he has embarrassing blips in his career just like you:
10. Like the '90s horror classic The Faculty:
11. Because he still has home state pride:
12. The time he owned Tucker Carlson ON HIS OWN SHOW:
View this video on YouTube
13. At 50, he's pretty much the definition of silver fox.
14. His kids are really, really adorable:
15. He proposed to his wife, Tracey McShane, with a personalized crossword puzzle created with the help of Will Shortz, the crossword editor at the New York Times.
16. Because he successfully trolled Donald Trump:
Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name “F**kface Von Clownstick” like they are so original & like no one else is doing it...
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name “F**kface Von Clownstick†like they are so original & like no one else is doing it...
Jon Stewart @TheDailyShow is a total phony –he should cherish his past—not run from it.
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
Jon Stewart @TheDailyShow is a total phony –he should cherish his past—not run from it.
As I’ve said many times before, Jon Stewart @TheDailyShow is highly overrated.
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
As I’ve said many times before, Jon Stewart @TheDailyShow is highly overrated.
17. He gives good pun:
18. He's obsessed with Bruce Springsteen, like any good New Jerseyan.
19. He makes fun of everything, including himself:
20. He can take credit for introducing the world to John Oliver:
21. And Sam Bee:
22. And Wyatt Cenac:
23. And Aasif Mandvi:
24. And that one guy, Stephen Colbert.
25. And of course, he says some really great stuff:
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