25 Things That Get Harder After Age 25

I’m just going to read this book before I go to slee— zzzzz.

2. Leaving the house when there’s a Top Chef marathon on.

It’s the Voltaggio brothers’ season!

3. Crushing on boy bands without feeling a tad creepy.

You’re super cute, Harry Styles, but I could also be your mom. I mean, not really, but you know.

4. Recognizing your Facebook friends, because they’ve all gotten married and changed their last names.

5. Fighting the urge to get a dog.

You’re ready, right? You’re SO ready!

6. Rallying after day drinking.

That 6 p.m. nap is going to turn into a 12-hour snooze.

7. Making plans on summer Saturday nights…

…because of all the weddings.

8. Putting up with BS from anyone.

You’re too old for high school drama. TOO OLD.

9. Experimenting with trends.

Neon pink ombre hair might be cute, but it’s harder to pull off in, say, law school.

10. Going into Hot Topic.

YOUTHS.

11. Fitting into your bathing suit every year.

It shrank in the wash. It shrank in the wash, OK?

12. Going out on Halloween.

No, seriously, though. Why.

13. Making friends.

College and grad school, your ready-made social infrastructures, are dunzo.

14. Going out on both Friday AND Saturday night.

It’s not a real weekend if it doesn’t involve at least one sweatpants night.

15. Not feeling a little bit weird about being single.

Not that you’re on a timeline. BUT, society/your grandmother might make you feel like you should be.

16. Witholding your opinion.

You’re getting less scared to say exactly what you think — in a polite way, of course.

17. Eating whatever you want and not gaining weight.

That 2 a.m. grilled cheese actually does some damage now. RIGHT IN THE MIDSECTION.

18. Pulling off a graphic tee.

Not that it can’t be done, but your days of sporting suggestive Abercrombie-esque slogans on your chest should probably be behind you.

19. Recovering from a night out.

Remember getting drunk, going to bed without drinking any water, and then waking up and feeling fine? LOLOL.

20. Dating someone just for the heck of it.

You’re not necessarily ready to settle down just yet, but you ARE less likely to hook up with someone who’s totally wrong for you just because they’re cute or fun. It’s all about self-respect.

21. Blowing your bonus check on a new Macbook without feeling guilty.

Yes, you want to take a trip to Europe. But you know you *should* put that in your savings account.

22. Living on pizza and Red Bull and not feeling disgusting.

Salads? FINE.

If only because you’ve started to notice a difference in how you feel on the weeks when you eat right, vs. the weeks when you subsist on croissants ‘n’ mac and cheese.

23. Shopping at American Eagle.

That tube skirt would fit ONE of my thighs.

24. Not going after what you want.

The best part about getting older is naturally feeling more self-confident. You’ve stopped apologizing for your needs, and you’re more assertive about how and with whom you spend your time. Go get ‘em, tiger!

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