Your First Time Getting High, As Told By Cats

That special, special day when your youth was corrupted.

1. So for a long time you were all like, “I will never try that stuff.”

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2. But all your friends seemed to be doing it at parties.

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3. You did some research on the subject and ultimately decided you were ready to give it a shot.

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4. You were a major rookie. For starters, you had absolutely no idea how to use this “bowl” thing.

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5. You tried to inhale but it hurt your throat sooo much.

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6. To make matters worse, all your friends were starting to feel it and you were stone-cold sober.

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7. But then, out of nowhere, everything got funny. Like really, really funny.

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8. And suddenly, you had NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON.

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10. So you did the only thing that felt right.

You pillaged the snack drawer.

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11. Then you moved on to the fridge and scavenged anything that was (somewhat) edible.

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12. Your friend’s mom walked in and you had to use all your strength to keep yourself from giggling.

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13. You did a good job. She definitely couldn’t tell.

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14. After that, your friend turned on Animal Planet and you were all, “woooooaaaaaaah.”

“Dude, gazelles are like….majestic.”

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15. Then someone threw Pink Floyd on the speakers and you were all, “whaaaaaaaat.”

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16. You were having mind-blowing epiphanies left and right.

“The word OK looks like a sideways person. I’ve said OK my whole life and never noticed him.”

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17. But then shit got a little too real.

“The world is so fake, man. Like, what if you’re even not actually real?”

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18. It was a lot to handle.

“Wait, what if I’m not real???”

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19. That’s when you started getting super paranoid.

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20. Which devolved into you convincing yourself you might even be hallucinating.

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21. You could slowly feel everyone around you getting sick and tired of your un-chillness.

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22. After that, you just stayed really quiet for a while.

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23. ‘Till eventually, you passed out cold.

Long day. Probably not gonna do that shit again for a WHILE. Right?

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24. Haha, riiiiiiiiight.

(You two weeks later).

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