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Your First Time Getting High, As Told By Cats

That special, special day when your youth was corrupted.

1. So for a long time you were all like, “I will never try that stuff.”

2. But all your friends seemed to be doing it at parties.

3. You did some research on the subject and ultimately decided you were ready to give it a shot.

4. You were a major rookie. For starters, you had absolutely no idea how to use this “bowl” thing.

5. You tried to inhale but it hurt your throat sooo much.

6. To make matters worse, all your friends were starting to feel it and you were stone-cold sober.

7. But then, out of nowhere, everything got funny. Like really, really funny.

8. And suddenly, you had NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON.

9. AND YOU WERE SO INEXPLICABLY HUNGRY.

10. So you did the only thing that felt right.

You pillaged the snack drawer.

11. Then you moved on to the fridge and scavenged anything that was (somewhat) edible.

12. Your friend’s mom walked in and you had to use all your strength to keep yourself from giggling.

13. You did a good job. She definitely couldn’t tell.

14. After that, your friend turned on Animal Planet and you were all, “woooooaaaaaaah.”

“Dude, gazelles are like….majestic.”

15. Then someone threw Pink Floyd on the speakers and you were all, “whaaaaaaaat.”

16. You were having mind-blowing epiphanies left and right.

“The word OK looks like a sideways person. I’ve said OK my whole life and never noticed him.”

17. But then shit got a little too real.

“The world is so fake, man. Like, what if you’re even not actually real?”

18. It was a lot to handle.

“Wait, what if I’m not real???”

19. That’s when you started getting super paranoid.

20. Which devolved into you convincing yourself you might even be hallucinating.

21. You could slowly feel everyone around you getting sick and tired of your un-chillness.

22. After that, you just stayed really quiet for a while.

23. ‘Till eventually, you passed out cold.

Long day. Probably not gonna do that shit again for a WHILE. Right?

24. Haha, riiiiiiiiight.

(You two weeks later).

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