Too bad y’all shot your whole wad on the terrorist kenyan muslim socialist angle.

Stay away. Conjunctivitis is highly contagious.

50 things? How about 5 words instead? George Bush and Rick Perry.

So you’re basically the kid who won’t take a bite of something new because they already know they won’t like it. Maybe keep your foods from touching on the plate too?

If a person is sober they’re not partying. Try the magic of moderation instead.

Garbage in, garbage out.

I support the second amendment but every day these crackpots show how insane they are my support drops. Too many crazy people with guns equals what? The NRA should start using some of their lobbying money to get congress to support mental health funding… these shooting aren’t going to magically just stop happening no matter how often the Texas Governor gets on his knees.

Let a million different Fridas grow. Myself, I want someone to make a circus wolf-girl version. Then one of her in a wrestling mask. Or wearing a business suit.

If you think the most egregious flip-flopper the GOP could find is going to carry away their right-wing baggage you’ve got another think coming. Romney’s comments will get played. The GOP’s Permanent Peanut Gallery’s crocodile tears? Notsomuch.

Who cares what McCain has to say. We want to hear from the person he thought was a better candidate than Mitt Romney.

The judge should make her strap the sign to her face next time, fat lot of good it does having her laze about, smoking and looking all cool.

Being a republican in Hollywood is like being… an actor with the acting range of a door stop.

Whatever it is… something in there must cause a boyfriend to cheat on you.

It’s called bad marketing. Their audience consists of more than Saudis.

Yes, people watch them for the same reason. They’re waiting for something gruesome to happen.

If your boyfriends are always cheating on you maybe you should write a song about why that happens. Dig deep into your soul. Psst, hint hint… it’s not them, it’s you.

Maybe he should have his valets hold Ryan down and cut off all his hair. A rolling calamity is right.

Why do you think they broadcast car chases in the first place?

Eventually Bibi will realize that ridicule is the biggest weapon of mass destruction ever.