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How To Write ESPN’s Ridiculous General Sports Tweets

Maybe it’s because football’s over and baseball hasn’t started, but ESPN has been tweeting insane generalities about sports and sports fans.

Say something “everyone does.” Like this:

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

… especially if you follow ESPN

Or this:

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

Mix in a joke about a popular event

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

Look the Oscars are happening please love us.

…Or, awww, Valentine’s Day

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

Day of the week + sports =

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

it’s friday, friday

Something utterly incomprehensible and throw in a #hashtag

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

220 people apparently do that, orrrrr…?

Remember high school?

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

Ugh the WORST

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

You’re just like sports people!

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

Reading this whole list has gotten me pretty depressed…

@espn / Via Twitter: @espn

Oh, thanks, ESPN.

(Disclaimer: this is impossible if you’re a Mets fan)

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