How To Write ESPN’s Ridiculous General Sports Tweets

Maybe it’s because football’s over and baseball hasn’t started, but ESPN has been tweeting insane generalities about sports and sports fans.

Say something “everyone does.” Like this:

… especially if you follow ESPN

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

Or this:

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

Mix in a joke about a popular event

Look the Oscars are happening please love us.

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

…Or, awww, Valentine’s Day

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

Day of the week + sports =

it’s friday, friday

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

Something utterly incomprehensible and throw in a #hashtag

220 people apparently do that, orrrrr…?

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

Remember high school?

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

Ugh the WORST

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

You’re just like sports people!

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn

Reading this whole list has gotten me pretty depressed…

Oh, thanks, ESPN.

(Disclaimer: this is impossible if you’re a Mets fan)

Source: @espn  /  via: @espn