1. When you go out, you try to act like you’re still in college…
2. Only to realize the next day your body can’t handle it like it used to.
3. You have to consciously weigh going out vs. getting sleep…
4. Because you know going to work hungover is the worst!
5. You know you should make friends with your older colleagues, but what do you even talk about?
Pregnancy? Kids? Prenups?
6. And you’re too old now to keep hitting up college parties.
7. So you get even more confused when people tell you just to act your age.
8. Your parents start to throw around the hard questions, like when you’ll bring home a nice boy or girlfriend.
9. You keep realizing how much harder it is to chill with old friends, and you worry they might judge you if you keep blowing them off.
10. You have to set your significant other’s standards way low, since you barely have any cash.
11. Your friends keep insisting that no one likes you when you’re 23.
12. It’s more important than ever to hide all those questionable Facebook pictures.
13. You’re constantly on edge about how your family will judge your fledgling career choices.
14. People over 25 don’t respect your growing existential panic as you approach your mid-twenties.
15. You have fewer and fewer excuses for not being able to cook.
16. You can’t help but subconsciously compare your life to HIMYM…
17. Or to Friends…
Even though you know they were in their late twenties.
18. Or really to any Nicholas Sparks movie.
And your life never stacks up in the comparisons as much as you’d like.
19. You’ll resort to paying for fast food in change at least once in a drunken stupor.
And you thought your scummy broke college days were behind you.
20. Asking old professors for advice won’t be as helpful as you hope.
“Who are you?”
21. Your job is nothing like you hoped it would be.
*Cue existential crisis*