16 Laughably Lame Creatures From Urban Legends

The X-Files did it better.

1. The Jackalope

SedesGobhani / Via en.wikipedia.org

Jackalopes are the unholy mixture of jackrabbits and antelopes, which roamed the western US. They were exceedingly rare, only breeding during electrical storms, and they could mimic the human voice.

As terrifying as: It’s coming right for us!

2. The Loveland Frog

The Loveland Frog has terrorized residents of Loveland, Ohio from 1955 - 2000. It has alway been described as a 4 foot tall upright human with webbed hands and feet and a frogs head. It reportedly also leaves behind a smell of alfalfa and almonds.

As terrifying as: Being stuck in Ohio for fifty years.

3. The Kushtaka

The Kushtaka are a race of shape-shifters from southeastern Alaska. Fearsome and terrifying, they can transform in some stories into any species of otter they desire. Though they are known to lure people to their deaths, they can be held at bay by copper, fire, or urine; if only all three weren’t in such short supply!

As terrifying as: Having a shy bladder in a public restroom.

4. The Goat Man of Maryland

Warner Brothers / Via trishvillain.tumblr.com

The Goat Man was once a scientist working at the Beltsville Agricultural Research Center. One night, while experimenting on goats, something went horribly wrong. Now a half-man half-goat, he attacks cars with an axe.

As terrifying as: A reject Spiderman villain.

5. The Skunk Ape

The Skunk Ape is the unwashed, down-home cousin of Bigfoot. He has a wide territory from Mississippi to Florida, and is known everywhere he goes for his awful stench.

As terrifying as: A middle school boys’ locker room.

6. The Bunny Man of D.C.

Newmarket Films

One night, a bus carrying inmates from an insane asylum flipped over, killing everyone… Except one. Now, the Bunny Man haunts the area around Bunny Man Bridge, routinely skinning rabbits and yelling at people to get off his property.

As terrifying as: A weekend with your backwoods uncle.

7. The Mothman of West Virginia

Snoopywv / Via en.wikipedia.org

There have been over 100 recorded interactions with the Mothman, most of which revolve around people seeing it at night, noticing its giant wings and red eyes when lit with a flashlight, followed by both the creature and the people running in opposite directions.

As terrifying as: Richard Gere’s performance in The Mothman Prophecies.

8. The Dover Demon

The Dover Demon is a roughly three foot tall hell spawn that terrorized residents of Dover, Massachusetts over a 25 hour period. It is described as having no mouth, ears, hair, nose or gender. It is currently believed to have been a baby moose.

As terrifying as: An adult deer.

9. The Flatwoods Monster

The Flatwoods Monster has terrorized residents of Flatwoods, West Virginia, since 1952. It has been described as ten feet tall, with bulging eyes, stubby T-Rex like arms, and a fabulous green pleated dress.

As terrifying as: Jurassic Park in drag.

10. Am Fear Liath Mòr

Richard Webb / Via en.wikipedia.org

Am Fear Liath Mòr, also known as the Greyman, is the supernatural force that haunts the passes of Ben Macdui, the second tallest peak in Scotland. It is generally never seen, but only heard coming towards others while instilling a sense of fear. Recently, it has been explained away as being caused by exhaustion and having one’s shadow cast onto the mist.

As terrifying as: That time your shadow went in two different directions, and you were all like ‘OMFG!’

11. The Melon Heads

The Melon Heads are twins from Ottawa County, Michigan. They were once normal children suffering from hydrocephalus, but after years of abuse in an insane asylum they became feral mutants. They know live in an underground system of caverns… just chilling, really.

As terrifying as: Babies. Seriously, babies have big enough heads as is.

12. The Michigan Dogman

Much like the Goat Man of Maryland, except without the axe, the Dogman is a half-dog half-man hybrid that terrorizes Wexford County. It sometimes is spotted leading a pack of normal wolves.

As terrifying as: An American Werewolf in Paris

13. Momo

Momo is the delightful nickname for the Missouri Monster, which seems to be a cross between Bigfoot and the Skunk Ape. Tall, hairy, and smelling horrible, people have hypothesized that Momo might be nothing more than a smelly black bear. But somewhere, the real truth is out there.

As terrifying as: Getting lost in St. Louis.

14. The Ozark Howler

The Ozark Howler is a mythical bear-cat-wolf that prowls throughout the Ozark mountain range bringing fear to all through it’s mighty howl. Or, it’s a misidentified wild cat… But, no, probably a mythical creature.

As terrifying as: Reliving your memories of reading Where the Red Fern Grows in elementary school.

15. The Pope Lick Monster

Half-man, half-goat, half-sheep, the Pope Lick Monster lives beneath the Norfolk Southern Railway, in Louisville, Kentucky. Formerly a mistreated circus freak, the monster has sworn revenge and is out for blood.

As terrifying as: ManBearPig!

16. The Sidehill Gougers

Walter Bender / Via en.wikipedia.org

Sidehill Gougers are animals designed specifically to live on steep slopes. They have one leg longer than the other, thereby, somehow, ensuring that they will never lose their balance. If they ever fall off a mountain, they are completely helpless as they can barely walk on even ground.

As terrifying as: A pirate without his peg leg.

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