1. Everyone asking if you’ve studied yet.
Either way, not studying.
2. Thinking maybe you should give studying a try.
Who studies? What is this madness? How?
3. Buying and “reading” all those ridiculous SAT Prep books.
4. Taking practice tests.
Is this an accurate predictor of my future score?
6. Or is taking a fancy expensive class.
I mean, NO, that sounds terrible.
7. Having to go to school early on a weekend day.
8. Forgetting a Number 2 pencil and having to ask the obnoxious kid with WAY TOO MANY for one.
What are you gonna do with all those pencils, build an army?
9. Your pencil BREAKS mid-exam.
Might as well give up on college now.
10. Someone is making unidentified annoying sounds somewhere behind you.
STOP. STOP THAT.
11. Your ex is sitting right behind you chatting up some rando.
Like you need ANY more stress?!
12. Vocabulary words you’ve never heard or read in your life.
Those letters simply do not go together. And I READ A LOT.
13. Trying to do math super fast.
TOO MANY NUMBERS.
14. Nothing has anything to do with what you learned in class.
When did we learn entomology?
15. Not knowing the answer, so “guessing” becomes a fun game.
This is just ballsy.
16. Resisting the urge to flip back through other sections when you have extra time.
17. THE DREADED ESSAY!
I’m a writer and I hated this shit.
19. Being asked about your score five years later to still judge you by.
I AM SMART AND THIS DAMN TEST DOES NOT DEFINE ME.