YOU’RE BATMAN! Successful and generous yet tortured and mysterious, you keep your knighthood hidden. But you manage to be a superhero without alien powers, spider bites or chemical alterations, which basically means you’re the best.
You are the modern Knight (circa 1982). You’re a good guy who doesn’t like violence, but will use it when necessary. You love technology and know how to make it work for you. While you’re a total flirt, you’re loyal to those you care about.
You like big butts and you cannot lie. When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung. You’re hooked and you can’t stop staring. You like ‘em round and big. You wanna UGH, double-up, UGH UGH. You want ‘em real thick and juicy. So find that juicy double. You’re in trouble.
The Black Knight
One of the most memorable parts of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you’re stubborn, determined and always finish what you start. Even if you literally fall apart in the process. You can withstand basically anything, and always make the most of a bad situation. The Black Knight always triumphs!
Brave, strong, handsome, romantic, talented, fearless and frankly a bit of a shit. C’mon – you slept with your best friend’s wife! Haven’t you ever heard of duderuses before uteruses? But betrayal of the bro code aside, you’re actually pretty great.
Brienne of Tarth
You’ve got more strength, bravery and talent than most of the other knights put together. People mock you for not conforming to society’s restrictive roles, but you are determined to follow your own path and show them they’re wrong.
You’re arguably the best kind of knight – a JEDI KNIGHT. Your sword glows, for crying out loud. Also you’re friends with hairy giants and little green guys and live teddy bears, which makes up for that weird sexual tension you had with your sister.
Everybody loves you. You’re minty, sweet and TASTY. Sure, you might not be much use otherwise – but what knight is in 2014?