1. It starts out quite tame.
2. It’s straightforward and direct.
Scott Barbour / Getty Images / fanfiction.net/9239813/1/Ode-to-Karl-Stefanovic
3. Then it suddenly takes a very violent turn.
4. From there things just get weird.
5. Like, really weird.
6. Have we mentioned how weird it is?
7. It’s oddly specific.
8. There are some very… creative… metaphors.
9. It’s powerful writing.
10. Powerful enough to put you off your lunch.
11. Seriously, it will probably make you throw up.
12. And yet you can’t look away.
13. It’s compelling stuff.
14. Just when you think it can’t get worse…
16. This is clearly the work of a creative genius.
17. Or someone with way too much time on their hands.
18. OK, it’s the latter.
Jenna Guillaume is a senior editor for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney.
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