1. Mulligrubs scared the bejesus out of you. But you still watched it every day.
2. You were also mildly terrified of EC on Lift Off.
Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make a magical faceless doll the hero of a kid’s show?
3. You started each day with Agro’s Cartoon Connection.
4. Unless you were a Cheezoid and preferred to watch Jade and Ryan on Cheez TV.
5. You ate the breakfast of champions: Coco Pops.
Somehow your parents were OK with this.
6. You got to school early just to play handball with your mates.
You were better at it than Kevin Rudd.
7. You were totally jealous of the kids on Saved by the Bell because they didn’t have to wear uniforms to school.
8. You learned everything you know about life from a giraffe in the back of a dark van.
9. You got excited when the teacher said you could play a game of Dead Lion or Heads Down Thumbs Up in class.
In hindsight, it was probably on the days they were hungover.
10. You spent too many recesses on a bench in the shade thanks to the “no hat, no play in the sun” rule.
11. You were excited to have 10 cents, coz it would get you two bags of carob buds or half a Zooper Dooper at the canteen.
12. You felt so grown up pretending to smoke Fags.
Somehow, your parents were OK with this too.
13. You starred in your school’s production of Hating Alison Ashley. Or at least did the scenery.
14. You knew the name and value of every single type of marble in your bumbag.
15. You now bank with Commonwealth because the Dollarmites recruited you early.
16. You thought The Magic Riddle was almost as good as Disney movies. Almost.
17. You ate approximately 1067 packets of chips to complete your Tazo collection.
18. Brad Fittler was your sporting hero.
19. You wanted to live in a haunted lighthouse like the family on Round the Twist.
20. You knew Yowie toys were way superior to Kinder Surprises.
21. You always did the Ocean Girl swim when you were in the water.
23. You felt so cool wearing Bad Boy/Bad Girl clothes.
24. Babe made you question everything you believed about eating bacon.
25. John Howard was the leader of the country and you didn’t know it could be any different.
26. When Paul Jennings and Morris Gleitzman teamed up, your brain exploded from all the awesomeness.
27. You still know all the lyrics to The Ferals theme song.
28. And the Blinky Bill intro.
29. You had your birthday party at Macca’s just so you could get the ice cream cake.
30. You played in the sprinkler to stay cool.
31. Or if your parents were in a good mood, you got to go on the Slip ‘n’ Slide.
32. You diligently sat by the VHS player on Saturday mornings to tape your favourite music videos off rage and Video Hits.
33. You learned what an aphrodisiac was when The Whitlams were number one in Triple J’s Hottest 100.
34. And about boob fondling from Tim Winton’s Lockie Leonard.
35. You had a massive crush on everyone in the cast of Heartbreak High. But especially Drazic.
Dat eyebrow ring.