1. From Day 1, you are king
Weeee - it’s all about me!!!!
2. Your sense of entitlement starts at an early age
Camera? Yes please, that is mine.
3. The family can only gush more and more as time goes by.
Keep it coming, Keep it coming……
4. Presents are yours and only yours.
Christmas List Request Batting Average - always 1000!
5. As you grow, your friendships start to diversify
Whose turn is it? Oh wait, It’s always MINE….Score!
6. Everything you do is so special
Honey come look - Johnny arranged his marshmallows for the first time!
7. Arguing with yourself becomes a win/win
I knew it all along. I was right AGAIN!
8. You develop some really neat habits with all that time to yourself
Only-Child Creativity is unrivaled.
9. ..and more neat habits to fill your time
Mom - Look at me!
10. Your bedroom is your domain and yours alone.
Dance-off tonight at 8p in my room. Bet I win.
11. You finally become an adult and realize only-childness is still bad ass.
Screw the gun show, I’m “swollen”.
12. As all those years go by, you even might actually have made a few mistakes along the way…
I know it’s shocking.
13. ….but in mom or dad’s eyes, you will always be the apple of the eye.
How do I look? Perfect as always.