1. When you come home from a long day at work and find a soaked, dirty towel flopped over the kitchen sink.
2. When you wake up in a panic in the middle of the night to search through your drawers, and the Community Towel isn't exactly where you last left it.
Yes, it is a Community Towel, but it is still your towel and you decide where it rests.
3. When you're inspecting the Community Towel at the end of the day and you notice that the Hard Spot has moved ever so slightly toward a corner.
4. When you inquire as to which towel had the honor of drying their post-shower body, and you can smell the fear sweating down their face.
Just try for once, OK?
5. When they forget to fold the Community Towel after use in a procedure.
6. When they interrupt to ask if you've paid the electric bill yet, even though it's obvious you were in the middle of petting the Community Towel.
Um, privacy please. Thanks.
7. When you bring home an intimate partner, and the Community Towel isn't laid out in presentation by the doorway.
8. When they bring in germs from the park or the water slides and don't even clean down before standing near the Community Towel.
Um...what????
9. When they're practicing mouth-touch with a guest in their room and the Community Towel isn't even squeezed in for Use.
10. When a gust of wind blows out a wall of the apartment, and you're grappling for the Community Towel lest it fly off, and your roommate won't stop clapping and chanting long enough to help.
We set aside time to clap and chant exactly for this reason!!
11. When you hear a Ghoul or Kreepim shuffling around outside your door, nibbling on a bit of pretzel, and your roommate won't pick up the walkie-talkie even though you know they're home.
12. When they beg you to leave them alone, but you both know deep in the darkness of your hearts that it's time to spin the Procedure Wheel for the week.
The Procedure Wheel exists for a reason. If we do not obey its hunger, the walls will cry.
13. When they say they're looking for a new place to live, and then, as they continue to scream teeth sounds at you, you see them eye the Community Towel with unabashed desire.
