1. This angry yoga ball that can’t even believe you’re drinking full calorie soda right now
2. This toaster, who is sick and tired of you and your idiot friends
3. This oven, who is done with your planking bullshit
4. Really everyone in the toaster/oven family…
Even J.Law isn’t safe
5. This washing machine, who overheard you gushing about the new high efficiency model next door
6. This mattress, who is done pretending to be something he’s not. Done.
7. This vacuum, who has had it up to here with your dirty mouth
8. This frying pan, who refuses to let you take any more credit for those perfect crêpes
9. This bike, who is so over you riding around without shoes or a helmit. Over it.
10. This overworked air mattress, who asked you one too many times to keep this type of behavior limited to the trampoline out back…
12. This pissed off swingset who refuses to be a party to your drunken antics right now
13. This cup, who is tired of apologizing for your appalling table manners
- Illinois' attorney general has asked the U.S. Department of Justice's Civil Rights Division to investigate Chicago's police department. ›
- It's World AIDS Day — 35 million people have died from AIDS-related conditions, and more than 34 million people are living with the disease. ›
- Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg says he'll give away 99% of his Facebook shares (worth $45 billion today) over the course of his life. ›