1. This angry yoga ball that can’t even believe you’re drinking full calorie soda right now
2. This toaster, who is sick and tired of you and your idiot friends
4. Really everyone in the toaster/oven family…
Even J.Law isn’t safe
5. This washing machine, who overheard you gushing about the new high efficiency model next door
6. This mattress, who is done pretending to be something he’s not. Done.
8. This frying pan, who refuses to let you take any more credit for those perfect crêpes
9. This bike, who is so over you riding around without shoes or a helmit. Over it.
10. This overworked air mattress, who asked you one too many times to keep this type of behavior limited to the trampoline out back…
12. This pissed off swingset who refuses to be a party to your drunken antics right now
13. This cup, who is tired of apologizing for your appalling table manners