1. This angry yoga ball that can’t even believe you’re drinking full calorie soda right now
2. This toaster, who is sick and tired of you and your idiot friends
4. Really everyone in the toaster/oven family…
Even J.Law isn’t safe
5. This washing machine, who overheard you gushing about the new high efficiency model next door
6. This mattress, who is done pretending to be something he’s not. Done.
8. This frying pan, who refuses to let you take any more credit for those perfect crêpes
9. This bike, who is so over you riding around without shoes or a helmit. Over it.
10. This overworked air mattress, who asked you one too many times to keep this type of behavior limited to the trampoline out back…
12. This pissed off swingset who refuses to be a party to your drunken antics right now
13. This cup, who is tired of apologizing for your appalling table manners
In The News Today
- Budapest's main train station has opened its doors after a two-day stand-off, during which hundreds of people without a valid European Union visa weren't allowed on trains. ›
- Guatemalan President Otto Pérez Molina has resigned amid a lengthy corruption scandal that has brought his government to the brink. ›
- China's President Xi Jinping has said army personnel will be reduced by 300,000, the biggest cut to the military in almost two decades. ›