1. Your frustration at nobody making a cuppa quite like you do.
I hate when other people make my tea. They dont know how much milk. They dont know how long to brew. They don't know my life struggles
2. Your constant side-eyeing towards people who have their tea weak.
People who make weak tea are weak willed
3. And your ~sexy~ feelings towards tea that you don't really tell anyone about.
This warm tea on my throat feels so good it's borderline sexual.
4. Your burning passion for a cuppa that makes you defy social conventions on a regular basis.
Ok but I'm one of those people who goes to a house party and makes a cup of tea
5. The tension of finding out if the milk is okay.
The only way I can tell if milk is off is by pouring it into a cup of tea and seeing if bits float to the top but IT'S SUCH A WASTE OF TEA
6. Your anguish at people taking advantage of your politeness.
I hate it when I offer to make tea and people say yes
7. Your constant conflict between your desires and your laziness.
I want to drink tea but I don't want to bother to make tea...... I guess this is why people have butlers
8. Your low-key repulsion towards people who microwave tea.
people who put cups of tea in the microwave when they go cold deserve to be drowned in murky lukewarm tasteless microwaved tea
9. Your gratefulness towards any blessed angel who makes it for you.
people who make you cups of tea without asking deserve a special place in heaven.👏🏼
10. The unbridled distress of realising your tea has gone cold.
When you forget you made tea and it goes cold and you just feel like locking yourself up in your room to cry
11. And the weighty realisation that it went cold because you let it.
I always feel the need to down the disgusting cold bit of a forgotten cup of tea because it's my fault it's not been drank
12. The waves of nausea you feel when someone doesn't even brew their brew.
People that don't let the tea bag brew long enough make my blood curdle
13. Your mourning process of the tea you never got to quite finish.
I just cried BC I dropped my biscuit in my tea what am I?
Doubly distressing because both a tea and a biscuit were ruined.
14. And the mourning process of tea that never even got a chance.
I've split tea on me and now I want to cry. Not because it burns like Satan's arse but because it's a waste of good tea :(
15. Your don't merely want tea, you need it.
"Mum please drive me to tesco to buy teabags. I'm going to cry." "Leah it is half past 11 at night." "and we're out of tea."
16. Your annoyance towards people who clearly think making tea is some sort of joke.
Why are there people who make two cups of tea with one teabag? Twats like you are what's turning this world to shit.
This isn't a game, get your act together.
17. Your pain and guilt when you forget all about it.
I could genuinely write a graphic novel about the heartbreak I endure when I make myself a cup of tea and then forget to drink it
18. Your disdain for people who put the milk in first.
When I chose to bless the world with my existence, meeting people who put milk into a cup of tea first was not part of the deal
19. And your suppressed rage every time you get a shit cuppa.
This tea is disgusting and I'd like you to make it again and try harder
This simply will not do.