Books·Posted on Feb 16, 201514 Times Stephen King Was So Sassy It HurtThe king of horror? More like the king of sass.by Jarry LeeBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. On Taken 3: Stephen King @StephenKing I can't believe how many bad TAKEN jokes I've seen since yesterday. I was TAKEN ABACK. Tue Jan 06 22:03:01 UTC+0000 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. On politicians during blizzards: Stephen King @StephenKing I love it when politicians put on their "storm clothes," like they're going to fire up a plow and work all night on the turnpike. Tue Jan 27 03:01:40 UTC+0000 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. On the Superbowl: Stephen King @StephenKing Superbowl Sunday, followed in many cases by Hangover Monday. 03:54 PM - 02 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. On bagpipes: Stephen King @StephenKing The difference between an onion and a bagpipe: nobody cries when you chop up a bagpipe. Fri Jan 09 12:55:48 UTC+0000 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. On the 114th U.S. Congress: Stephen King @StephenKing AMERICA'S NEW CONGRESS looks like the same old shit to me. Sat Jan 10 16:37:50 UTC+0000 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. On spoiler alerts: Stephen King @StephenKing Another spoiler: Romeo and Juliet die in Act 5. Mon Apr 14 02:30:28 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. On waffles: Stephen King @StephenKing You will take my waffle when you pry it from my cold, dead, syrup-caked hands. I stand my ground. Sun Jan 19 16:12:43 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. On the age of the world: Stephen King @StephenKing Fundamentalists claim the world is only 6000 years old. I have a pair of jeans older than that. Sat Feb 22 16:56:09 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. On television: Stephen King @StephenKing The year's most annoying TV promo: "This is the episode that will change everything!" Only it never fucking does. Tue Dec 24 16:22:47 UTC+0000 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. On separation of church and state: Stephen King @StephenKing No, not a Constitutional scholar, just…watch this closely. Church…here. State…there. Separate. Would a picture help? Sun Jul 20 18:46:34 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. On naming snowstorms: Stephen King @StephenKing "Lisa, at four inches an hour, plus blowing and drifting, we have officially labeled Poop a real shitstorm." 08:20 PM - 15 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. On Ted Cruz: Stephen King @StephenKing To me, Ted Cruz looks like a revival preacher on late night cable. I guess they like that in Texas. 02:25 AM - 09 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. On voting in Maine: Stephen King @StephenKing Huge amounts of snow in Maine yesterday! Republican voters should probably stay home tomorrow, safe & dry! HAHAHAHAHA. Mon Nov 03 13:53:04 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. And on the honey badger: Stephen King @StephenKing Honey badger STILL don't give a shit. Mon Dec 08 03:49:29 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF