1.
[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye] "Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."
2.
- much ado about nothing - 2 much 2 nothing - much ado 3: toyko drift - much nothing - much 5 - much ado 6 - nothing 7
3.
We get it poets: things are like other things
4.
.@parisreview So is Paris any good or not
5.
Ever realised how fucking surreal reading a book actually is? You stare at marked slices of tree for hours on end, hallucinating vividly
6.
ALL ENGLISH BOOKS "We can't have them over for dinner." "Why ever not?" "The last time they visited, we still had money." Then, the War came
7.
[first day as a masseuse] Me: [closing book] "…& they all lived happily ever after" Customer: "That's not what I meant by 'happy ending'"
8.
"I just tried to make reservations at the library" You don't need a res- "Couldn't get one though" Don't do this "They were fully booked"
9.
At Starbucks I order under the name Godot. Then leave.
10.
I'm bringing paperback them other books don't know how to act *deletes account*
11.
I used to love correcting people's grammar until I realized what I loved more was having friends.
12.
I'm sorry Mrs Jackson (ooh) / it's our town's deal / sorry our stones made yr daughter die / but the lottery makes the corn grow high
13.
If you don't touch your face in your author photo, readers might assume you don't have hands. "How did (s)he even write this?" they'll say.
14.
hey Dickens, were the times good or were they bad, you flip-flopping piece of garbage good-or-bad-times waffling ass motherfucker
15.
I hope the guy who just cut me off in traffic has his fav book made into a movie & the characters are nothing like he imagined them
16.
me: goodnight moon :) moon: night<3 me: goodnight stars :) moon: wtf me: sry wrongnumber moon: whos stars moon: who is stars moon: answer me
17.
Starting a cover band called "A Book" so no one can judge us.
18.
Knock Knock "Who's there?" To "To who?" To *whom
19.
Please stop calling us your "squad" Linda this is book club
20.
P. Didion
21.
"The Sun Also Rises Somewhere Else, Get Out Of My Apartment" -Hemingway's break-up note
22.
"Don't fav because it's over, RT because it happened.” — Dr. Seuss for millennials, probably
23.
Book pitch: After my mom died & marriage failed, I didn’t go on an exotic trip or long ass hike I just had to continue my life & get thru it
24.
mark, my words. *mark brings me a dictionary* thanks mark