1.
robbers stole $60,000 from a NYC Whole Foods. police don't know if the bag of apples and loaf of bread will ever be recovered.
2.
IS THIS A GAY BAR? DID YOU BRING ME TO A GAY BAR, SON? This is whole foods, Dad.
3.
I would be mad at myself for blowing $60 at Whole Foods, but I did get 4 things so
4.
"In which aisle can I find the nunchucks?" "Ma'am, this is a Whole Foods" "Sorry, in which aisle can I find the gluten free nunchucks?"
5.
This woman at Whole Foods is choosing a bundle of asparagus more carefully than I chose my husband.
6.
*walks into Whole Foods* Thank god I found you. The guys across the street are only selling parts of stuff
7.
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
8.
[whole foods] WHITE GIRL: excus me do u hav pumpkin EMPLOYEE: (hands her a pumpkin) here WHITE GIRL: no no no. PUMPKIN. its a type of spice
9.
I once killed a man in a hit and run but the shame I felt when I told the Whole Foods cashier I didn't bring my own bag can never be matched
10.
[robbing Whole Foods] "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok? "Yes!" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag
11.
Got kicked out of Whole Foods for not wearing a tracksuit again
12.
Who called it Whole Foods instead of House of Chards
13.
Whole Foods sells $10 gift cards. The perfect gift for a loved one who wants two onions.
14.
My loan from the bank to buy milk from Whole Foods was approved.
15.
Whole Foods before a snowstorm is upper middle class Thunder Dome.
16.
Whole foods advertising for all your Super Bowl needs is like Barnes & Noble taking care of your bachelor party.
17.
Just told a guy who cut me off in the Whole Foods parking lot to eat a bag of dicks but then thought better of it and added THEY'RE ORGANIC