Comedy·Posted on Nov 1, 201524 Hilarious Tweets About Jesus That'll Make You Laugh Every Time"Remember teens: even Jesus once logged off for 3 days."by Jarry LeeBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Sage Boggs @sageboggs jesus: what do people call the day i was crucified me: good friday. we call it "good friday" jesus: what the fuck 03:00 PM - 03 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Online Hippo @InternetHippo Big deal Jesus, so your dad sent you here to suffer & die, that's what all the rest of us are doing too 07:11 PM - 21 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Pumpkin Spiceotope @BuckyIsotope *knock on door* “Sir have you found Jesus?” Uh, no. Goodbye. *shuts door* *Jesus steps out from behind door with gun* Good answer 03:25 AM - 10 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. jomny sun @jonnysun COP: jesus how much hav u had to drink JESUS: (leans out window) (whispers) my blood is wine COP: ok step outa the car pal 12:46 AM - 23 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. lawblob @lawblob remember teens: even Jesus once logged off for 3 days 12:27 PM - 22 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. frankenmustard @nice_mustard "drink my blood" that's wine dude "eat my flesh" um you're weirding me out "i'm god" this is the worst going away party ever 10:53 PM - 09 May 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Nathan Usher @thenatewolf Me: I know you from somewhere Jesus: I get that a lot Me: no I'm sure Jesus: just one of those faces Me: [holding arms out] go like this 07:12 AM - 26 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. dan mentos @DanMentos [last supper] drunk jesus: *swinging baguette wildly* You want a piece of me!? 12:56 AM - 04 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. pakalu papito @pakalupapito tripped and fell in my heelys jesus take the wheelys 04:04 PM - 01 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Fred Delicious @Fred_Delicious *Jesus excitedly runs home from school* "dad, dad! I made the football team" *God peers over his newspaper* "well i made FUCKING EVERYTHING" 02:41 PM - 14 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt Do you accept clean cut Jesus as your lord and shaver? 12:13 AM - 24 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. ▫️ @matt___nelson JESUS: so I'm u GOD: yes JESUS: and ur me GOD: yes JESUS: I don't get it GOD: I do JESUS: how can one of us get it & not the other GOD: whoa 08:14 PM - 28 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Mike Primavera @primawesome Me: "Hey you forgot to close the door! Were you born in a barn?" Jesus: "Yes." Me: "Oh, it's you. Sorry, Jesus." Jesus: "I forgive you." 05:13 PM - 15 May 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt Jesus take the wheel. Jesus use your blinkers. Jesus stop swerving. Jesus slow the vehicle down. Jesus give me the keys you're drunk. 10:48 AM - 29 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad Jesus died for your sin, cos, and tan so it's OK if you're bad at math. 12:13 AM - 19 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. EJ Gomez @EJGomez [last supper] judas: j-man whats the worst sin youd forgive jesus: any judas: even if someone sold you out haha jesus: ya judas: my dude 12:12 AM - 18 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Online Hippo @InternetHippo JESUS: Being humble is important ME: Ok anything else JESUS: Yea worship me forever 01:21 AM - 06 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Sean Draculeahy @thepunningman "Welcome to McDonald's, what'll it be?" Jesus whispering "5000 Filet-o-fish, and hurry" "5000 FILETS DAN" J "Shh, keep yr fuckin voice down" 04:18 PM - 29 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Scary Floyd @dafloydsta God: Did you just fart? Jesus: Sorry I had a burrito. It was- God: Don't say it Jesus: To die for God: This is why you were sacrificed 08:04 PM - 30 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. jomny sun @jonnysun *jesus givs u bread* this is my body *jesus givs u wine* this is my blood *jesus puts ur hand in soggy noodles* and these r my BRAAAINS ooOO 11:02 PM - 16 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Mike Primavera @primawesome Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words. 06:55 PM - 04 Dec 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Friedrice Nietzsche @tinynietzsche Shark jesus died for my fins. 03:16 PM - 11 Oct 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. baeless, MA @AnUglyNigga Jesus only had 12 followers nigga musta had trash tweets 11:55 PM - 23 Sep 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. God @TheTweetOfGod "YOLT." - Jesus. 08:51 PM - 04 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite