Parks and Recreation star Retta, beloved for live-tweeting her favorite TV shows, was tapped by NBC to officially live-tweet the 2014 Emmys — and she did not disappoint!
The night began with Retta lookin hot as hell.
“@TODAYshow: On the #Emmys Red Carpet with @unforettable ” Thanks to: @luxeartist @marciahamilton @alfiebakerstyle
Literally.
It’s hot as balls at Nokia. I’m sweating like Wesley Snipes during a tax audit…not currently but u know. #Expendables3 #HesBack #Emmys
She was seated with the equally hilarious Billy Eichner so you know there would be no shortage of snark.
Well look at whoI'm sitting next to … Say hey to @billyeichner aka #BillyOnTheStreet aka Craig. #Emmys
Much of it was aimed at the A-listers in the room.
Cheers for Seth Meyers who is chock full of “Why the fuck are the Emmys on a Monday?” jokes. #ForRealsWhy? #Emmys
Cranston’s stash is . . . #YouMakeTheJoke #Emmys
I wanna know where these guys get their weed. Just joking. There’s no way Woody doesn’t grow his own shit. #TeamHemp #Emmys
I love how Jessica Lange is killing this “Ima let these fools know I’m still helluh sexy” saunter to stage. #Emmys
What is happening right now?? #Emmys
I would like to congratulate Sarah’s girls for staying put. #GoodOnYa #NarrowlyMissedMinajMoment #Emmys
I hate Robin Wright and her perfect style. Hate is a strong word and I mean it. #Emmys
But perhaps the greatest treat of the night was Retta chronicling her interaction with a seat filler who would...
Seat filler next to me is getting his jam on to the band’s version of Flashlight. #SoHappyToBeOutElbowRubbing #Emmys
Not.
This clown next to me tried to tell me I was in the wrong seat (HE IS) and now wants to take a pic with me. #Ass #ByeFelicia #Emmys
Go.
This fool just asked how𠆝 I get on Parks and wants to know if he can get TV work from doing extra work. #KillMe #Emmys
Away.
Now this clown ass just asked me 2 FOLLOW HIM ON INSTAGRAM. #BitchPlease I’m about to get his ass bounced. #FuckinUpMuAwardShowVibe #Emmys
But much like Olivia Pope, Retta had this handled.
#MissionAccomplished It was very white of me to sic security on him but I’m wearing white & sitting in the 2nd row. #KeepItClassy #Emmys
Which is bad news for The L.A. Times, because... eesh!
Ohhhhhh @LATimes . . . (Peep it @thedanieb)
