1. 1. We are not a part of Mexico.
Yeah, it’s actually in Texas.
2. 2. We are not Corpus Christi.
You’re about two hours off, buddy. And our beach is a lot prettier. Think South Padre Island.
3. 3. Our Stripes tacos dominate all Stripes tacos.
Don’t question it.
4. 4. We do speak English.
But, most of us are bilingual. So, the real question is: Y u no speak Spanish?
5. 5. We like H-E-B. Wal-Mart is for fools.
We have our reasons.
6. 6. We eat raspas. Not “snow cones.” Whatever those are.
And we put really fun stuff in ours, like pickles, chamoy y leche. Just not all at once.
7. 7. We’re not overrun by the drug cartel.
Nor are we a part of it.
8. 8. Some people call us the cheapest place to live in the country. Oh, wait. That’s fact.
Check it out.
9. 9. Our population’s around 1.5 million, which means we’re larger than Hawaii, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Montana, Delaware, South Dakota, Alaska and North Dakota.
Come at us.
10. 10. We don’t pay a cent to have fun.
We’ve got fields to mud in, canals to fish off of and resacas to swim in for that.
11. 11. We grow corn, cotton, sugar cane, and a whole bunch of stuff your life would suck without.
Elote en vaso? You’re looking at the creators.
12. 12. And we do wind power. A lot of it.
Go green, fellow Americans. Because we’re from the Valley, and we’re also Americans.
13. 13. We even grow celebrities, like Freddy Fender.
And you thought we were small town.
14. 14. And Kris Kristofferson.
What a man.
15. 15. We also throw the nation’s largest beach party.
Even if it gets weird. And crazy. It’s the largest, and it’s ours.
16. 16. We’re one of the best places for bird watching in the country, y’all.
No, really, we are. Haters gon’ hate.
17. 17. We are the authority on all things pan dulce.
You don’t know desserts, unless you’ve had pan.
18. 18. You don’t serve free chips and salsa at your restaurant? We’re walking out.
It should be law.
19. 19. We ride horses, raise livestock and go to the Mercedes Livestock Show, because we’ve all got a little “country” in us.
And we’re flippin’ PROUD.