1.
IRON MAN: *blasts villain with beams* THOR: *swings mighty hammer and creates a storm* CAPTAIN AMERICA: America! Yeah! Hell yeah!
2.
I am writing a film about a dog that can solve crimes, but refuses to
3.
*slams hands on table* HOW DID BUZZ KNOW TO FREEZE AROUND HUMANS IF HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A TOY, CAROL?
4.
I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE AND I NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE
5.
[pitch meeting] Okay so it's a ton of dogs. Dalmatians. 100 of 'em. I call it "100 Dalmatians." [idea man pipes in] Let's think bigger
6.
If growing up in the 80s taught me one thing, it's that my friends and I should have found a treasure map by now.
7.
Me: hey famous actor Dwayne Johnson, why do they call you the rock? *Dwayne runs fulls speed at a pond and skips like 15 times* Me: OH MY
8.
LION KING PLOT HOLE: LIONS CAN'T TALK
9.
If you watch Benjamin Button backwards you won't be able to see anything as you'll be facing away from the television.
10.
Just got back from Fight Club. It was really fun! Got there late so missed the rules being read out but I'm sure it was nothing important.
11.
Bailiff: Honorable Judge Matthew McConaughey presiding [McConaughey enters] all rise all rise all rise
12.
How many times do you have to battle your Michael Cera to get him to evolve into his final Andy Sandberg form?
13.
Probably the biggest plot hole in Harry Potter for me is that they are wizards.
14.
[shows up late for first day of new job] *blames it on rush hour* [shows up late for second day of new job] *blames it on rush hour 2*
15.
Reese Witherspoon is my favourite actress that sounds like the answer to a Cluedo game.
16.
My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
17.
-The name's Bond. James Bond. -I've written Bond now. -Oh. Can you change it or is it too late? -When your coffee's ready they'll call Bond
18.
Billionaire: I'd like to do something about crime. Butler: Being poor, I've got some great ideas-- Billionaire: I want to dress as a bat.
19.
I would have instantly hit ET with a hammer and screamed the entire time
20.
Ocean's Eleven? Ummmm I'm pretty sure it's a little older than that. Who is this idiot?
21.
From: Anna To: Elsa Subj: ⛄️?
22.
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
23.
Godzilla on his smartphone, googling 'How many carbs does Tokyo have'
24.
Just read an article saying the cast of 12 Years A Slave should clean up at the Oscars - awful that people still think like that in 2014.
25.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs
26.
I wish Marty McFly had stopped the Holocaust but making his family a little bit richer and happier is okay too I guess
27.
"The end." - Quentin Tarantino starting a bedtime story