1. On vandalism:
Overheard on the Tube... Boy (spotting graffiti): Daddy, why have they written on his face? Dad: Because... well it's James Blunt.
2. On the inner workings of public transport:
Overheard on the tube: 'how does the train know where we live?'
3. On parenthood:
4. On music:
Overheard on the tube: 'Jimi Hendrix, is that the one that makes the gin?' I don't think so mate.
5. On social life:
Overheard on tube: "You know Megastructures of the Nazi World on the History Channel? Well I was at the wrap party for that"
6. On public decency:
7. On evil:
Overheard on tube: "The devil's not a nice bloke"
8. On fashion:
Overheard on the tube: "I feel like gluten-free diet and vintage clothes go so well together"
9. On heat:
10. On morals:
Overheard on the tube: "So basically, he uses The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air as his moral compass". #WordOnTheStreet
11. On patriotism:
#wordonthestreet overheard on Tube: "He's got For Queen and Country tattooed above his cock"
12. On TV:
13. On renting:
Overheard on tube: guy discussing merits of renting a bed in someone's kitchen. "He says he won't come in if I'm sleeping & he wants toast"
14. On overcoming fear:
Overheard on the tube: "I've gotten over my fear of ham." 👏🐖
15. On distance:
16. On geography:
Overheard on tube, bantzlads talking about holidays: BL1: I really want to go to Bucharest. BL2: Where's that? Finland? BL1: I have no idea.
17. On science:
Overheard on Tube. Middle-aged lady. "Yeah science is a bit better than hearsay innit. Bit more.. scientific." Yep. #truefacts. #science.
18. On pet ownership:
19. On dental hygiene:
Excellent advice overheard on tube: "Look after your teeth. Without your teeth it's harder to chew."
20. On home security:
Just overheard on tube: "Did you lock the door? I think I left a croissant on the table"
21. On wildlife:
22. On avian ferocity:
'Have you ever had a canary attack you? It's a bloody nightmare' Overheard on my tube journey.
23. On social media:
Overheard on the Tube: "She's gone all weird. She set up a Facebook profile up for her baby and talks like she's the baby"
24. On the people of London:
25. On relationships:
Overheard on Tube: "I can't chuck Marissa, we're locked in until November when we've been on holiday to Mauritius."
26. On avocados:
"OK, I'm going to play Devil's avocado here" #OverheardOnTube
27. On weather:
28. On hobbies:
Man on train: 'Do you like Rugby?' His friend: 'No, I like antiques'. #overheardontube
29. On trains and romance:
Overheard on the Tube: "What's the Eurostar equivalent of the Mile High club called?"
30. On fine dining:
31. On radio:
Overheard on the Tube last week: 'Radio 4 is just one shitty book after another.' Sometimes at this time of night, I almost understand.
32. On classic literature:
Overheard on the tube between two kids: 'bruv, both Romeo & Juliette die, you know that right?' 'come on bruv, where's the spoiler alert'
33. On privilege:
34. On hairstyles:
Overheard on the tube: "Babe, I could definitely do a man-bun. Don't try and fucking stop me"
35. On life goals:
Overheard on tube: "I reckon I could beat a camel. I wanna go to the desert & race wild camels." As you do.
36. On the caped crusader:
37. On philosophy:
Overheard on the tube: "How did we end up here?" "On the tube?" "No, in life..." #Deep
38. On reptiles:
Overheard on the tube: "you can tell if a cat is happy, you can't tell with a snake"
39. On US politics:
40. On religion:
Overheard on the Tube: "I'd like to become a Catholic, but they don't let you smoke and I can't afford the flight to Ireland."
41. On dieting:
Just overheard a convo on the tube 'if you eat lots and then fall asleep the calories don't count because your body thinks its the next day'
42. On contract law:
43. On world history:
Overheard on tube - father explaining to daughter that Michael Jackson never actually went to the moon
44. On eavesdropping commuters:
Overheard on the tube: “Let’s move over there, I think this twat’s listening to our conversation.”