Five Songs I Now Understand And Am Totally Embarrassed I Used To Sing To My Mother

Remember the days when you would sit in the car with your mom and unknowingly serenade her with sex anthems? Just me? Well, either way, congratulations to my parents on a job well done in the sheltering-your-daughter department. My mother was so secure in my blissful unawareness of what I was saying that she just let it happen. Below are five songs I used to sing to my mother that I now understand. And it's mortifying.

1. *NSYNC - Digtal Get Down

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My childhood bestie and I made up a dance to this that involved her leaning on me as I leaned on the desk in my bedroom and thrusting. Perhaps there was a reason my parents didn't have a lock on my bedroom door...

2. Backstreet Boys - The Call

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Did he miss his curfew? Shoot, the battery is dying on his phone...how will he check in at home??

(Also, the remix feat. The Neptunes is far superior)

3. Soul Decision - Faded

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Play dates? Sleepovers? Getting to know each other better? Sounds good to me.

4. Bloodhound Gang - Bad Touch

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ooh, they're dressed like animals...I get it.

5. Next - Too Close

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I just can't even...

6. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

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And just for good luck, I share with you the song I chose for the father-daughter dance at my Bat-Mitzvah. And nobody stopped me.