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22 Witty Mark Twain Quotes

It's Mark Twain's 176th Birthday! Here's a collection of wise quotes from the cat-loving, politics-satiring, booze-hounding, chain-smoking man himself. In many ways, he was the original BuzzFeeder.

I know, right? Now tell your friends!
22 Witty Mark Twain Quotes
James S.
1.

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"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough."

2.

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"'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read."

3.

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"All generalizations are false, including this one."

4.

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"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

5.

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"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

6.

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"Don't let schooling interfere with your education."

7.

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"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

8.

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"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

9.

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"If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later."

10.

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"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

11.

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"Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising."

12.

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"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

13.

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"Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'"

14.

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"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."

15.

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"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

16.

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"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

17.

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"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."

18.

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"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

19.

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"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."

20.

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"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."

21.

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"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

22.

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"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

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