1. We go out wearing virtually nothing.
“Howay, pet. Covering up’s for sissies.” YIKES
2. Or we start wearing ‘ironic’ onesies everywhere.
Even when it isn’t that cold.
3. We fail at walking.
Leather-soled shoes don’t really cut it.
4. Our pets are even more hopeless than us.
Note to cat: your are not The Snowman.
5. Public transport meltdown, #1
One flake of snow and the whole train system grinds to a halt.
6. Public transport meltdown #2
Even though the Underground is, you know, underground (clue’s in the name), it’ll be damned if it’s going to keep running while all the other lines have a snow day.
7. Deathwish tobogganing.
“Let’s find the steepest hill we can and wait until all the snow has turned into ice. Then we’ll just use some inflatable pool paraphernalia instead of a toboggan.”
Yeh, good plan Captain Moron.
8. We want to make the weather our weapon.
WE WILL TAME YOU, OH VENGEFUL ATMOSPHERIC MISTRESS!
(Happy splashing isn’t big or clever - this woman was charged with careless driving by police.)
10. But we always insist on using the scraper anyway.
There’s no point wasting the deicer.
11. Don’t even bother with the airports.
Looks like it’s Christmas at your in-laws’ again.
12. Newspapers go a bit berserk
FOUR INCHES! That’s almost up to the ankle!
Better start stockpiling the deicer.
13. We fail at being all cool and ironic about it.
This probably actually happened.
14. We always presume the apocalypse is coming.
Snowing at 7°? Really?!
15. Our parents call us every 15 seconds.
Scaremongering with snippets from The Express.
16. The Sky reception cuts out.
And you miss Suarez’s celebration fail.