Waking Up After Your House Party

The party was popping, the drink was flowing, the music was bumping — and then you woke up. posted on

1. The alarm you forgot about goes off and you’re like:

2. So you hit snooze and go back to sleep.

“I am peaceful as fuck right now.”

3. Five minutes later it goes off again and this time you think:

4. You take a moment to ask your body:

5. It responds:

6. You stay down and try to remember last night.

7. But this is all you come up with:

8. And maybe this?

You can’t be sure, but you really hope not.

9. And you’re like, “Thank you, Party Gods, for bringing this shit-faced ship safely into harbor.”

10. Suddenly, you feel something in bed with you…

11. You roll over and find you have a strange bedfellow.

Horsey surprise!

12. Your brain is like:

13. Then you take a peek under the sheets and decide:

14. And you’re like:

15. You ask yourself: “Should I wake you up… orrrr… ?”

16. “Nope. Naw. No. Nuh uh.”

18. So you sneak out of your room…

19. …to go get yourself a nice cup of coffee.

20. You head for the kitchen…

21. And that’s when you learn that what starts like this…

22. … ends like this.

23. “Greaaaaaaaaaat.”

24. You get that coffee…

25. …and find your roommates are still asleep.

Or maybe dead.

26. Along with this bro…

…Who’s definitely not dead because he’s mouth-breathing like an asthmatic bullfrog.

27. You find your phone on the counter…

…which you didn’t even know was lost.

28. You look through your texts.

29. And you’re like:

“Uh oh.”

30. Whelp… what’s done is done, you decide.

31. You go take a look at the backyard.

32. And you’re like:

33. You remember the party like this…

34. … but it was more like this.

35. Finished with the post-party recon, you’re like:

36. You turn the stereo back on and pump your jam…

37. … pour yourself a recovery shot…

38. … and clean like the party never stopped.

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