Waking Up After Your House Party

The party was popping, the drink was flowing, the music was bumping — and then you woke up.

1. The alarm you forgot about goes off and you’re like:

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2. So you hit snooze and go back to sleep.

“I am peaceful as fuck right now.”

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3. Five minutes later it goes off again and this time you think:

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4. You take a moment to ask your body:

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5. It responds:

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6. You stay down and try to remember last night.

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7. But this is all you come up with:

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8. And maybe this?

You can’t be sure, but you really hope not.

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9. And you’re like, “Thank you, Party Gods, for bringing this shit-faced ship safely into harbor.”

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10. Suddenly, you feel something in bed with you…

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11. You roll over and find you have a strange bedfellow.

Horsey surprise!

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12. Your brain is like:

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13. Then you take a peek under the sheets and decide:

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14. And you’re like:

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15. You ask yourself: “Should I wake you up… orrrr… ?”

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16. “Nope. Naw. No. Nuh uh.”

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17. Better play it safe.

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18. So you sneak out of your room…

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19. …to go get yourself a nice cup of coffee.

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20. You head for the kitchen…

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21. And that’s when you learn that what starts like this…

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22. … ends like this.

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23. “Greaaaaaaaaaat.”

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24. You get that coffee…

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25. …and find your roommates are still asleep.

Or maybe dead.

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26. Along with this bro…

…Who’s definitely not dead because he’s mouth-breathing like an asthmatic bullfrog.

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27. You find your phone on the counter…

…which you didn’t even know was lost.

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28. You look through your texts.

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29. And you’re like:

“Uh oh.”

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30. Whelp… what’s done is done, you decide.

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31. You go take a look at the backyard.

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32. And you’re like:

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33. You remember the party like this…

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34. … but it was more like this.

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35. Finished with the post-party recon, you’re like:

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36. You turn the stereo back on and pump your jam…

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37. … pour yourself a recovery shot…

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38. … and clean like the party never stopped.

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