1. I wonder if my face betrays how badly I need to poop.
3. I’d say I’m about 25 seconds away from ruining these clothes.
5. The instant he puts the camera down I am going to show this G6 how I get slizzard.
6. Lord please this pose is so hard to make right at this moment.
8. Please no why couldn’t this have been the brown brief shoot.
9. Sweet Jesus please grant me strength these slit shorts are unlined.
10. If they ask me to crunch my abs one more time, things are going to get smelly.
11. No coconut curry please please no not here not now.
12. How could a just God put me in this situation how.
13. If I just pick one single point and focus my eyes on it I can make it through this.
14. Oh no that was it we’ve passed the point of no return.
15. Please not now this is the most important moment of my career dear Lord.
16. My butt feels like a bag of soup with a hole in it.
17. If I relax for even an instant I will soil my name and my country.
18. This bulge is about to have a big brother in back.
20. If this isn’t the last shot I’m going to quit forever I’ll never take another photo I swear on my mother’s grave.
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