14 People Who Forgot How To People

It’s hard, being people. We know. But pull it together, ok? You’re embarrassing yourself. Make your life easier by getting a Shotmeister. Trust.

1. Hold…HOLD STILL! JUST HOLD STILL FOR A SECOND!!

2. Peter wasn’t certain of what he was trying to do, but he was certain that he was doing it wrong.

3. Sometimes I think about how many hairs are in my head and I get overwhelmed!

Must be hundreds of ‘em!

4. Big hot ball in the sky, have you come for me at last??

5. Susan forgot about fingers, and what they do. Give her a moment.

6. Most people don’t realize the full potential possessed by doorstops. Victoria does.

7. “TAKE WHAT’S YOURS!!” yelled Jonathan, as he shoved tortilla chips into his face.

8. Come on, pineapple! Get in the VCR!

9. What did you just say to me, hat? Say that again. I dare you. Say it again.

10. Eric is a sandwich artist’s apprentice, and he’s trying his very hardest.

11. Julia only intended for the hammer to open the wall enough for its secrets to fall out. She’s very sorry.

12. Claudia forgot about sitting! She just straight up forgot.

13. This saran wrap isn’t animal print! It’s clear! What good is clear saran wrap!?

14. I’m trying to send a poem that I wrote through the internet tubes. To my girlfriend. Who is real.

Good thing the Shotmeister is literally fool-proof.

Don’t worry. If you’ve got halfway decent motor skills, you’ll be able to work the Shotmeister. Dispensing ice-cold Jägermeister since forever - now available for purchase! By you!

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