1. The Sheepshead Fish
The sheepshead fish has teeth that look just like human teeth, presumably for the sole purpose of freaking us out. Up yours, evolution!
2. The SoftShell Turtle
Everyone knows that a turtle’s shell is for protection. I guess no one told the soft shell turtle. Evolution can be a real asshole sometimes.
3. The Blobfish
The blobfish. The name says it all. Bravo, evolution.
4. The Amazonian Frog
The males from this particular breed of amazonian frog are so violent that they often kill the females during sex. But that’s not the end of the story, as these frogs have evolved to be able to fertilise the eggs even when the female is dead. Evolution, you are one sick fuck.
5. The Panda
While pandas are pretty goddam cute, it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that they are on the brink of extinction. Here’s the thing— they’re carnivores, but all they eat is bamboo. All day. In fact, bamboo is so low in nutrients that they HAVE to eat it all day to stay alive, leaving hardly any time for anything else, including mating. Well played, evolution.
6. The Stick Insect
Rumour has it that stick insects look so much like sticks that they sometimes eat their own legs, because even they can’t tell the difference. When they have no legs left, they actually become sticks. There is no evidence to back this up. At all.
7. The Tapir
I suppose you think this is funny, evolution?
8. The Goblin Shark
The goblin shark is sometimes reffered to as a ‘living fossil’, as all other members of this family of sharks are extinct. Well, with a face like that, it does make it hard to find a mate.
9. The Floppy Snake
Atretochoana eiselti, known locally in its country of origin Brazil as ‘the floppy snake’, looks exactly like a penis. Grow up, evolution.
10. The Crested Macaque
This monkey is just an ass with legs. Evolution, you can be so cruel.