12 Movie Kids Child Protective Services Would Definitely Have Taken By Now

Some are cute and endearing. Some are murder trials waiting to happen. Either way, it's a good job local governments in Hollywood couldn't care less about kids.

1.

Kevin McAllister, Home Alone & Home Alone 2

The poster boy for neglected children. No matter how resourceful this pre-teen is, he was left to fend for himself not once but twice! Only consolation for the McAllisters is if little Kev was taken away by local authorities, they wouldn't notice anyway!

2.

Mindy Macready, Kick Ass

Alarm bells would have immediately started ringing when she dropped C-Bombs more nonchalantly than Courtney Love. Add to that an arms collection big enough to invade a country and the fact her father refers to himself as Big Daddy and i think a call from child services is well overdue. Oh and she killed some people.

3.

Harry Potter

Yes, he is one of the most powerful wizards in the World but his early muggle life is pretty tricky to explain to us normal folk. A kid who lives under the stairs and is seen repeatedly running into train station walls, claiming to be a 'magic portal'. Come on! Lock him up!

4.

Hannah Montana

Dear Mr Cyrus, I regret to inform you that not only did you write one of the worst songs of all time, but also that your daughter is quite clearly bi polar. If this continues, she will develop into nothing but a slut dropping exhibitionist. Stop enabling her. Take her away boys.

5.

Eric Cartman, South Park

It is a definite problem that Mrs.Cartman's career as a German Scheizer Porn actress is not the main reason Eric features on the list. As amusing as he is, this kid chopped up and killed someone's parents and fed them to him as revenge. I think we probably have enough to get him the death penalty, let alone a new mom and dad.

6.

Cole Lear, The Sixth Sense

You see dead people? Oh of course you do Cole. We all do. Now get in the van.

7.

Sarah Williams, Labyrinth

We are led to believe a 15 year old girl playing make believe with her toys and dressing like a princess is ok. It isn't. She should be stealing booze from her parents drinks cabinets and making out with football players. Instead she is having inappropriate relationships with British rock stars in leather pants and speaking to worms. She would be carted off before she could say "I wish the Goblin king would take you away"

8.

Marty McFly, Back to the Future

You traveled back to 1955 and nearly got off with your mum? Of course you did Marty, now take a seat next to Cole.

9.

Chunk, The Goonies

The origins of Chunk's nickname are unknown but as adults are even calling him it, we can only presume that Chunk's parents are indulging this horrendous term. I suspect his father may have indeed taught him the 'Truffle Shuffle'. Not only that but they have fed him to a clearly unacceptable level. He is in fact so deprived of affection that he soon makes best friend with a disfigured oaf who let's be honest you wouldn't let near your kids.

10.

Ferris Bueller

Yes, he's the coolest kid in school but truancy is just the beginning. He impersonated his girlfriend's dad, stole a car and mimed very badly. That's a one way ticket to juvie no matter how accurate you are with a tennis ball.

11.

Alvin, Simon, Theodore, The Chipmunks

Why can these chipmunks talk? Why are they the only animals who can talk? How did this 'Dave' character get hold of them? Has Dave has a thorough CRB check? Why do they only wear flimsy long t-shirts that show their groin? Why is Alvin branded like The Scarlet Letter? Too many questions, with the main one being, what time will social services be round?

12.

Thomas J, My Girl

Culkin again and this time slightly less smug. Thomas J made more girls cry than your average high school quarterback. His most notable characteristic was that this kid was allergic to everything. Everything! And these parents let him gallivant through the woods with a gypsy harlot and play with hornet's nests without an antidote on him? His blood is on their hands! Oh Thomas J dies. Spoiler alert.